Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
