Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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