You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
