so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
