You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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