When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
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I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
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the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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