Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
