I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
