seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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