Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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