i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
