: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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