Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
