dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
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