Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
These tits shall not be calmed
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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