Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
