So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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