Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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