wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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