I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
