i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
