I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
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