My sheets look like a crime scene.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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