Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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