she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
We had sex on a dog bed..
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
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