So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
no, he came in my armpit
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
