So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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