when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
