I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
