I puked a lego.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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