i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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