There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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