Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
