Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize