She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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