dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
im six kinds of drunk right now
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
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