I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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