She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
The power of my boobs compel you
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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