Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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