Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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