she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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