Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
