DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
