You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
