The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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