This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
