Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
my shit smells like andre
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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