butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
