Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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