i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
