Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
