Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
3pm strippers are depressing
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
