i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
