the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
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