the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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