some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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