My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
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