I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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