Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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