...so i touched it.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
