I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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