The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
