my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
