I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
if i can run in heels then i can drive
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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