i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize